The world's no 1

bossedil

HOW IS IT THAT I ALWAYS GET THIS LUCK?

For more than a month now, i've been trying to get to the beach on my day offs and literally EVERYTIME, it never fails to pour and be cloudy. Sweet, right? And today is actually the weekend i've been looking forward to since like 5 weeks ago. It was alou's birthday yesterday so i took my first weekend off in the looooooooongest time! i look back and i dont even remember when the last time was. prolly when i had the cali trip with sarie and madel last november. dammmmn   i've just been working all this time! sheesh :/ all i ever wanted for this weekend is the warm sun and sand and family time altogether. Oh wells  what am i to do? im just glad im here in brooklyn for the weekend. i have my family and we can have dinner in the city tonight and maybe watch some shows and go to church all of us tomorrow  

I FEEL GOOD ALL THE SAME

p.s.

1)alou and i just a got a new cam! yayyy!

2)jr's gonna be in the US army. i dont want him to!

HOW IS IT THAT YOU MAKE ME SOOOO NERVOUS?

okay, so here's the deal. This guy D that I've been trying to get to know since like almost 4 months ago did a really bad move of hitting on one of my best girlfriends C. i am SO mad when i found out. Like who wouldn't be  that's like borderline bro. whoever does that should know it will only lead to a relationship over status aka R.O with the person you're dating. Well apparently we both didn't know what was going on with us the whole time. None of us know where we stand. I havent seen him in like a month. And i've only seen him twice since like he got back from his vacation 2 months ago. WHat is up with that    our schedules never match and i guess we were both just guarding ourselves too much of the chance of rejection from any one of us. I wouldnt blame him if he started hanging out with some other girls  BUT not with one of my mine though. I couldnt understand why it has to be her. Did he purposely try to piss me off or hurt me like that? What did I do to deserve that from him

what happened was this.. he came to my work and asked if we could talk AFTER hanging out with my girl C. he was trying to be normal with me like how we were when we used to see each other. and i was like  please stop, i don't even know what's going on with us. i told him  how he's got a good game and im not the type of girl he could just have fun or hook up with. we started talking about everything. How im so upset, disappointed, and discouraged about him. you see, it's very obvious i really like him and the whole time we werent seeing each other i always wished and tried to get together with him discreetly. and he was like  i didn't know what was going on with us, you never call me anymore, you always have plans with other people, and our work schedule never match plus how i live on the other side of the bridge etc.  he admitted to me what he did and how he felt guilty about it. and that he's never lied to me that's why he's telling me everything. he went on telling me how his feelings for me never changed, how he cares a lot about me and that he only wants to make me happy. but my question now is, if you really cared for me the whole time, why didnt you think of me when you decided to hit on C? didnt you think you were gonna ruin us? i saw it in his face he was sorry. i felt it too that he cared when he hugged me    i just dont know if it were all true. and i AM plain scared to trust him and put myself in that circle with just the two of us   i told him we'll try to work it out. i still have FAITH in him cos i know he's so much better than the mistake he did. i just hope he's gonna be worth it this time   if it was another guy, he wouldnt even get a chance  i hope he sees that.

bossedil

it's today...........                       i hope i can go to church. i hope someone can drive me. it's odd cos i almost didn't realize that it's ash wednesday today. good thing i heard it from the lady in the store earlier. i'm becoming wayyyy out of the liturgical calendar. it's the start of Jesus' fasting. i better stop smoking.

bossedil

yowwwwwwwww i haven't blogged since forever! well that's since i got here in the US. a lot has happened to you, Edil    you gotta write write write and keep track. it's been what? like almost 10 months now. jeeeez   i've been through a whole new experience that i never thought i'd be in. it's been both good and bad. fun and boring.  happy and sad.     i'll tell me all about it.

TONIGHT I WRITE THE SADDEST LINES

1. i think i prolly am an illegal alien.                  my adjustment of status to a permanent resident has been disapproved. in my situation here,it sucked to be turning 21 and not being a dependent of my parents. yea i can drink here and do things on my own and all that but it made me not eligible to be living here. i've been trying to figure it out since i got the letter from Immigration by the end of January. i was held a back when i read it.........i mean, i know i always wanna come home to the philippines and everything but i don't want to have no choice but to just leave this country. i mean, my family's here (well except kuya) and honestly, no one's really more attached among us in the family than me. i never imagined id be caught in this kind of situation -me having to be away from pops alou and jr.how do i deal with that

2. just when we get a new mom, she gets breast cancer.                     tita amy just got an operation early this month cos shes been diagnosed to have stage 2 breast cancer. we're just thankful that it's still in the early stage. i'm worried about her cos she has to go through all the stuff (chemo and everything) that our mom went through before. i'm not exactly sure how pops is dealing with it cos we dont talk about it. it could be really depressing -for him especially. as alou said, it's just like a replay. but you know what, life is hard. it's boring when it's not. i believe that the Lord allows His children to struggle to become stronger. the important thing is i love my stepmom and it doesnt matter if shes sick. we'll be there for her like we were for Mama.

AND THEN THE THINGS THAT LIFTS ME UP

I MIGHT BE COMING HOME SOOOOON !!!!!                        im excited for a new job, for which im sure i won't be underemployed. it's not like im not thankful for the job i have here right now. i mean, it pays well for me and all it's just that i know that when i get back home to the Philippines, i know imma do more than a retail job. i can make print ads again, hold go-sees for models. or i can sell condominiums and eventually buy one my own. i can start my own business etc. i can do everything freely only cos i'll be in my own country. no problems about my visa and social security number. chilling with my old friends on weeknights and weekends. beach trips. surfing!! no more thick coats for winter. Wowww   and i get to see kuya and my grandmas. my relatives. YFC friends.     i just really really miss the life i have there and i can't wait for it.

sadly there's this only thing that breaks me when i think of coming back home. yeahh and i've been saying it this whole blog. it's leaving my family here. cos i'm afraid that no matter how much i miss my life in Pinas, at the end of it all..........   it just wouldn't be the same without them.

bossedil

It's sad to admit that i haven't been praying to the Lord as often and as eager as I used to. it's just that lately i always get tired of long hours at work that when i get to have free time, all i wanna do is leisure stuff. yea, apparently, praying is such a tiring thing to do nowadays. it's just embarrassing for me, picking tv over our conversations.

I can't believe we're leaving soon. we already bought balikbayan boxes awhile ago. i gotta be sorting stuff soon. to bring or not to bring. Sheessh. Anyways, I was browsing through my files, figuring which to keep.. well, for some (like below), i decided to keep 'em here.

July30/06 journal.

i heard the Lord say to me: "My child, we've been through this a lot of times already. You know that i'll still continue to forgive you everytime you come unto me. I have always been faithful to you, and that's because my love never stops. Don't you think it's better if you just carry on and continue loving my other children?"

The one who writes now has been that prodigal child for countless times. and this may not even be her last. she's not perfect Lord and you know that very well. she only wants to tell you that she loves you no matter what, that she's sorry when she forgets, and how thankful she is, especially for the instances when she didn't even have to ask.

-

I can't wait til my last day at work (which my boss has still been negotiating about). No hope though, it's bye bye office for me on apr15! Wheee, can't wait more for bora days! will surely be a series of looooonnngg summer nights! Yea!

bossedil

Guys i lost my phone last wednesday! Arggg.

 P.S. Melaaaa, peram muna spare phone mo after ni sarie! just until i get a new one?

bossedil

FINALLYYYYYY after years of wanting to surf surf surf!, i had the chance to try and fall inlove with it yesterday in San Juan, La Union.

Nauna dun sila tet, sed, marian dL, and chat ng friday morning. I just followed with nv friday night..we left at 11pm. haha ang funny pa, we both didn't know where the partas' bus station is at first kasi ang dami diba bus stations sa cubao like crazy! Pero yun pala, alam nadin namin (labo haha). Balikan trip lang for us (ang lakas eh noh) pero super solid!!! We arrived sebay ng 4am. knocked and tried to wake people in the wrong room. Haha tas slept for a while then surfed at 8am onwards! Nakakatayo ako more easily nun ndyan pa yun instructor, but noooo, nun wala na si kuya marlon struggle e. I'm kinda frustrated cos i couldn't stand just in time when the wave is good. But ohwellss, practice makes perfect. i think push-ups and jogs would help also. im really gonna surf A LOT this year. the sport is just sooo breathtaking and challenging. Being hit by the board and the big waves just scare the hell out of me. But even so, i keep going  Surfers just keep surfing. Cos as they say- NO PAIN, NO GAIN

now that's LOVE <3.

bossedil

Uhuh, i was terminated by NCO (my xbox job) after only 8 days of training!! I got late for more than 45 min in total so they really had to release me. we were told at first that we can't be late AT ALL and there i go, taking my time on coming to work. Twas okay at first, then got a lil upset eventually cos wtf, right? being fired on my very first job after grad...haha but now, i've decided not to consider it anymore. it was just a contractual, call-center job anyway.

Then yes, i got the call again from tintin of Rob. I thought they didn't want me anymore cos i turned down the first job offer they gave me, asking me to start on dec17. i said i can't cos i already signed a contract with NCO from dec14 to jan6..which, hello, didn't even last! Hahaha so there. I was sooooo glad we were still good! I started with a 2day orientation (jan2-3) then was deployed to my department after. Yeah!! It's the real thing now...my boss is nice and very accomodating. my other officemates are kind as well the boys are game with the outdoor stuff, climbing and all. hopefully, we'll climb together soon! Akala ko bad vibes ako dun sa isang girl cos she was ignoring me the whole friday...good thing she talked to me before the day ended. Haha so badvibes erased!

wheeee! i just have to complete my job requirements now so i get my pay on time  mayor's permit---easy! med exam----sucks!!! especially the stool exam part. but i need to do it super soon! Demmit

my first proj-UNDERWEAR FAIR on feb! And guess what... i'd accomodate even the go-sees of the girl and guy model for the print ad. kamusta!! I'd take their pictures with just their underwears haha then recommend to my boss which one seems fit. Wooooh! Ilang-ers sa boys eh........I should expect a really busog day tomorrow hahaha!

bossedil

At last, i've told papa that im getting a tattoo!! Whew!

 I really got stressed when i was still figuring out how i'm going to tell him this weekend. luckily, i grabbed the chance when he asked me last night if i wanted to come with him to cavite today. i printed the design this morning before we left.. and confessed on our way home. Haha i just had to tell him before i get myself inked on monday! at first i warned him not to freak out and that no one fed the idea to me, and that i've wanted this thing since before. then i showed him the design and said im having a tattoo. Of course, he didn't like the idea (..he said that i could satisfy all my reasons without getting a mark on my body), i said that i just want to let him know i'm getting one (cos I'd be guilty if i don't). then silence........... He let the topic pass and didn't say much. Super relief after hehe but i don't think he's expecting me to get one really soon. But yes, i am!

so just to share..i have listed down my reasons on getting inked the other night.. it's in preparation of my earlier conversation with pops

1. self-expression

2. constant personal reminder of faith. it's literally putting my religion in my body.

3. that i see the act of getting a tattoo as a sign of great courage

4. reward of independence (i mean, i've already finished school..i'll be working and all. but i didn't pursue this reason though hehe)

now i'll just have to endure the pain of the needles. i've become more excited(and less nervousss) about my tat! Gil (the artist) says it's beautiful. wheeee! it will be a rosary just behind my heart

bossedil

I can't be any more thankful after i got the call from Tintin of Robinsons this afternoon, just a few minutes after i woke she informed me that my last interview went well, and they're scheduling me for the pinaka-final interview next week! i think it's going to be with the AVP-marketing or something like her. Hehe kay daming interview.

I'm too proud to say that they still chose me, even when i was paralleled with someone who has just gotten her masters degree! Haha ang yabanggg. Gusto ko lang talaga magboast cos i really thought she was gonna get it already. Maybe because ginalingan ko nun interview, realizing that they were only looking for one more person for their team and having met the "competition" while waiting for our appointment, so super pressure dba! Hahaha! Ang competitive eh noh. But she's already 26 and i'm only 20. during my turn, i even confessed to the marketing manager about how nervous i was, knowing that the girl she interviewed before me has an MBA. she told me though that it takes more than that. Hmmn, perhaps she's just more fit for another job elsewhere. Sana she gets something better as for me, im too happy with my first professional job!

WHEEEEEEEEE! it's just so wonderful that i don't have to worry about facing a new year, now that I know where i'm going. Yey! i won't be a bum anymore! I'm really excited for this new school  I thank the Lord for the idle time i had (since after my thesis) and still have (until my holiday job at xbox), i had the chance to do the things i didn't use to have time for. Haha like bum around and magbabad online! Although I'm happy to serve my family with the chores I do everyday, of course i was still very anxious to go outside and realize my career! And He had everything planned for me all along.. I was sure i'm gonna be surprised, as always!